How To Make Your Ex Miss You And Want You Back

What’s next after going through an unwanted and sometimes unexpected breakup? Your feelings are all over the place, and finding a direction to turn can be confusing, frustrating and difficult. You don’t know where to go from here, and you never expected to be here in the first place. Relationships don’t always have a “happily ever after” and not every couple is as lucky as Cinderella and Prince Charming. Reality isn’t always pleasant, but it’s something that has to be dealt with.

How you deal with a breakup is entirely up to you. For each person it’s different. Some people just want to put the past behind them as quickly as possible and forget that it ever happened. They’ll throw themselves into a rebound relationship to avoid dealing with negative and conflicting feelings. Some people will find themselves lonely and seemingly hopeless, resigned to sit on the couch and live in a continual pity party. Some will put up a fight and try to win their relationship back by sheer force of will. No matter which course of action you choose, acting appropriately is necessary if you want to have any chance of getting back together with your ex.

The key thing to remember at this moment when everything seems to be turned against you is to stay calm, focused and in control of yourself. You don’t want to lose it and do something that could ruin your chances completely. Take a few (dozen) deep breaths and think rationally. Put the emotions on hold while you come up with a plan of action. Before any reconciliation is even possible, your ex will have to remember what it was that they walked away from. They’ll have to see you and the relationship positively. You’ll have to do something to make your ex start missing you.

An Attitude Of Acceptance

Before you can make any steps forward, you have to examine where you currently are. You’re facing a situation that you were probably not prepared to handle. Maybe the breakup came out of left field and you’re left their holding the ball realizing that you’re the only one still willing to play. Your ex has made the decision to leave you behind and you had no choice in the matter. In this tumultuous situation, the only thing you do have control over is how you react to the news and this simple reality can influence your future chances of reconnecting with your ex.

Many times people simply refuse to let go. They put up a fight and try to convince their ex to stay by a number of various means. They may present a logical argument to try and change their ex’s mind. They may get angry and start trying to out-shout their ex to subdue them and make them listen. They may simply refuse to accept what they’re hearing and try to ignore the fact that it happened. While these may all be human reactions to an unexpected breakup, they’re not productive if your end goal is to get your relationship back.

Step back from the situation and consider your ex for a moment. Do you think they came to this decision suddenly because they didn’t like the fact that you had a hole in your sock? Do you think the idea to end the relationship happened because you wanted to watch something on TV that they didn’t like? Of course not. They’re probably been thinking about doing this for quite some time and they’ve had time to weigh out their options. They’ve also had the luxury of time to prepare themselves for any adverse reaction on your part to the news. Fighting them isn’t going solve any existing problems, and it’s not going to have an effect on their reasons for leaving. Simply acknowledge their decision and let it happen – for now. 

The Truth About Post Break Up Contact

Unless you’re made of iron, it’s impossible to not have a reaction to bad or unexpected news. No one is made of stone or ice and it’s hard to face an emotional situation calmly. After a breakup, the party who was left behind often wants nothing more than to talk to the person that dumped them. They want to believe wholeheartedly that if they keep trying, eventually they will get through to them and convince them that ending the relationship was a bad idea. In reality, they’re only crippling their own chances of getting back together later on.

The number one error when trying to get back together with an ex is attempting to reestablish contact with them too quickly after the breakup has happened. When you look at the situation honestly, you can see why some time apart will be beneficial for both of you. From your ex’s perspective, they want to keep their distance from you at least for a time. They want some space to avoid any lingering feelings of guilt and being in the position of dumping someone often causes a lot of stress despite how valid they feel their reasons for ending it were.

Conversely, you need some time after being dumped to come to terms with the situation as a whole and decide on the best things to do next. You don’t want to have an emotional hissy fit and push them away for good. You don’t want to demean yourself by begging, arguing or groveling. Somewhere inside of you it’s clear that those actions would be a major mistake. Taking any action out of desperation is not the way to win back your ex’s heart and it’s not going to change their mind.

It’s simply not possible to force someone to want you again when they’ve made a decision to want you back. If it were, no one would breakup up. Breakups are rarely mutual decisions that are acceptable to both parties. Usually one person is always hurt. Instead of turning your attention on the problem and driving yourself crazy, choose to pay attention to possible solutions. The best way to do that is to grant your ex’s wish for distance for the moment and temporarily let it go.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

This saying has been around for decades (or longer) but when it comes to intense breakup scenarios, it’s often forgotten. For some reason, people going through a breakup get the mistaken impression that giving their ex the space that they want (and are going to take anyway regardless of your opposition) is going to enable them to forget all about them and the relationship as a whole. In reality, the opposite is true.

If you want to create a positive sense of yourself and your former relationship, the best thing for you to do is simply walk away. Drop off the radar. Take a break from Facebook and other social media sites. Go outside and get away from your phone or computer. Don’t check your email. Hang out with your friends. Make new ones. Throw yourself into exercise or a new hobby. Take a class. You’re doing things that are good for you and enable you to remember how to enjoy life without your ex – and they’re working to make your ex miss you as well.

Not hearing from you is probably the last thing your ex expected to happen. Maybe the insulated themselves in their apartment and waited for the inevitable onslaught of emails, texts, calls and wall-postings. They probably thought they’d have to beat you off in order to keep you away. They’re not flooded with promises to change or emails with every single possible way to apologize included. Not only are you not whittling away your hours by posting melodramatic breakup songs on Facebook, but you haven’t even logged in to your account.

If you can manage to avoid contact for a significant amount of time (and this means ALL contact, no cheating) the natural thought that is going to be overwhelmingly obvious in your ex’s mind is “what’s going on?” Your ex thought that they had this situation figured out. They were prepared for the worst, but nothing could have prepared them for silence. You’re turned their breakup on its head and shown them that you’ve taken back control of your own life without having to do anything at all.

At this point, your ex will start to worry. At first, they’ll play it off as concern for your safety. They’re used to hearing from you all the time and spending all of their free time with you. It’s gone from 100-0 almost instantly, and this simple reality will set them on edge. Over time, the real cause for concern will become clear. They’re not really worried that you’ve driven off the edge of the world – they’re worried that they’ve been left behind. They expected to deal with the breakup with the added benefit of a safety net. They believed wholeheartedly that they could go one day at a time and pull away little by little until there was nothing left. They convinced themselves that you would stick around indefinitely waiting for them to change their mind. They were wrong.

The key to understanding human psychology is your biggest advantage, and you’ve just played your cards perfectly. You always want what you believe is unattainable. You’ve just successfully become unattainable (at least according to their perception) to your ex.

Put Your Best Foot Forward

There is no set amount of time that contact should be completely avoided. Every situation and scenario is different and people need varying amounts of space to deal with their emotions. There’s no magic timer that will instantly appear above your head the second you break off contact, counting down the minutes, hours, days and weeks until you can reestablish the lines of communication. On average, a no-contact period should last for many weeks – maybe around the one – two month range. Keeping strong is hard, but it pays handsomely in the end.

While you suddenly have all this free time on your hands, you need to turn your focus inward. Like the breakup, you cannot do anything about your ex right now – the only thing you have control over is yourself. Now is the time for an extreme makeover: you edition. This doesn’t just mean get a new haircut or a brand new pair of shoes. This is a complete overhaul. You need to be honest with yourself and be seriously willing to examine the parts of yourself you may not like thinking about.

This isn’t about becoming someone you’re not – on the contrary. It means becoming the best possible version of you. It’s about reconnecting with the best parts of yourself and bringing them to the surface and cleaning up some areas that need work, both internally and externally. Just think about the look on your ex’s face when they next run into you. How’s that for motivation? Seeing their shocked expression will be worth their weight in gold, and you know it. Their curiosity has been driving them crazy for weeks, so go out and prove that you didn’t waste your entire time sitting at home moping. You went out and accomplished something good. You feel good about yourself, and that is the most important aspect of this opportunity.

Happiness Is The Best Form Of Payback

You may have compiled an evil, secret list of ways to take your revenge on someone who has dumped you. You may have even been tempted to use it. You don’t need to be an evil genius or do something cruel to get payback. Honestly, the best form of revenge is something that you should be doing anyway – having a blast.

After a breakup, many people go into emotional hiding. They curl up in bed with hot chocolate and a blanket and wish the outside world away while drowning their sorrows in romantic comedies. That may be normal, but it’s counterproductive. After the first few days when you’re working on accepting the situation for what it is and dealing with your emotions, you need to get off your butt and do something about it.

Not only will socializing with others help to reestablish your own self-confidence, but being around positive people will have a positive impact on your own emotions. If that wasn’t enough, going out and enjoying life is the ultimate form of revenge. Don’t fake a good time just for your ex’s sake – go have one! Enjoy yourself and make new friends. Try something new! Hang out with people that may have been sidelined during your relationship.

Nothing will make your ex more envious than the realization that you’re out there moving on while they’re still dealing with the breakup alone. You are doing some serious damage to their confidence by just doing what you should be doing anyway. No other form of retribution is necessary since this one is simple and it works so well.

Jealousy At Its Best (Or Worst)

Using jealous to your advantage can be a powerful tool on the road to reconnecting with your ex, as long as you play your cards right. Don’t throw yourself headlong into another relationship simply for the sake of creating jealousy in your ex, but there is nothing wrong with meeting new people and having fun. If you’re worried about inciting the ire of your ex, stop. You’re not obligated to them anymore – their reactions are their responsibility, not yours.

Your ex decided that you somehow weren’t good enough for them. They’ve deluded themselves into thinking that opinion is valid across the board, and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. The best way to make them see you as a potential catch is to show them that they’re not the only ones interested. The decision to even casually date other people after a breakup is one that should be carefully considered. If you’re doing it simply to make an ex jealous, don’t. If you’re doing it for you with the intention of simply enjoying yourself and meeting other people, go ahead. You never know what’s out there until you try.

Your Next Step – Learn How To Reconnect And Get The Magic Back

If you’re sincere about getting back together with an ex, you probably realize that it can take time. It’s not something that you can simply snap your fingers and expect to happen. Your best option is to come up with a course of action and stick to it. Don’t get sidetracked along the way and let your emotions get the best of you. You need to reignite the spark that once existed between you and your ex, and there is a program specifically designed to help you make that happen. 

The Magic of Making Up is an inclusive system that can help you successfully reconnect with your ex. It goes much deeper than simply starting over – it tells you specifically how to ignite the fire you once had and bring back the “honeymoon” days when you first started dating. Those were probably some of your happiest moments and they can once again become your reality.

This system designed by T.W. Jackson is a step-by-step, all-inclusive process that is impossible to not understand. You can put it into action immediately and start seeing results before you know it. You may not be able to erase your previous mistakes, but you can repair them. This program shows you how in a clear and effective way and can be downloaded almost instantly. Take a look at the free video to get you started on the right path.