Should You Use Jealousy To Get Your Ex Back?

No one can question the fact that jealousy is a powerful motivator that affects both sexes. If you’ve been dumped, you are probably feeling insanely jealous about everything – who your ex spends time with, where they’re going and who they’re talking to. You’re jealous of anything and everything that is going on in your ex’s life that no longer involves you.

Jealousy isn’t only a one way street – you can learn how to use it to your advantage as well. What if you could find a way to give them a sense of the uncomfortable feelings you’ve been experiencing ever since the breakup. Jealousy can be an incredibly valuable tool in your arsenal when it comes to getting back together with an ex, and there’s no reason that it cannot work in your favor. Jealousy can dig past all the crap and get to the heart of the issues surrounding your breakup and enable you to see exactly what’s going on in your ex’s mind in regards to you.

When jealousy is used in the right way, it often demands action on the part of the person who is experiencing it. When jealousy rears its ugly head the results can be immediate despite the current situation. Jealousy must only be used with extreme caution. Like handling a live grenade, if it is incorrectly put into play, it can backfire. If your ex catches on to your plan, you can pretty much be assured that nothing that you do or say from this point on will make any impact whatsoever.

Jealousy is usually associated with negative emotions on the part of the person it’s affecting, but that doesn’t always have to be the case. Jealousy can be used in a positive way to spark action and increase your chances of getting back together with your ex.

Does Jealousy Work?

Without question, the answer is yes. No matter what happened during your breakup or how volatile the situation appears, jealousy will always be effective. Using jealousy as a tool will instantly get your ex’s attention despite their efforts to ignore it. If they see you enjoying your life and not sitting around moping, you are guaranteed to spark an interest and virtually nothing else will work as quickly.

Forcing your ex to face the unexpected possibility of watching you walk out of their life forever induces internal panic. It’s the last thing in the world that they expected, and they are completely unprepared for seeing it in action let alone their own emotional response. They are suddenly faced with undeniable choices that could very well reunite you faster than you could have dreamed possible.

When jealousy is abused or used too often, it becomes dangerous to you and can ruin your chances of getting back together for good. The last thing you want to happen is for your ex to catch on to your plan. If you use it too forcefully or too frequently, you could essentially tip the balance in the opposite direction and push them into finding someone new faster than they had planned. If other alternatives are available, you may want to try them first rather than rushing down the jealousy route too quickly.

The Positive Side Of Jealousy

Jealousy may have gotten some bad press when it can inspire positive results. Jealousy works quickly and effectively regardless of the complexity of the situation. Nothing will get your ex’s attention as fast when jealousy comes in to play. That’s why it’s so important to use this valuable weapon with caution. Think of it as a pinch hitter. It’s not in your regular lineup of tools that can be used repeatedly every day. It’s one you call in when you’re losing ground and are falling behind.

Jealousy works because of the truth behind your ex’s mindset. No matter what reasons they gave you for the breakup, they are still paying attention to the ins and outs of your daily life by checking your Facebook profile etc. Their interest in you hasn’t changed simply because they broke things off. Their reasons for keeping an eye on you may be cruel, but you have to understand them in order to start reversing the process.

Your ex believes that they were right to leave you. They have justified the breakup to themselves over and over again even before they went through with it. They’re watching you now because the last thing they want is to have their beliefs reversed. They don’t want to see you happy while they’re still facing emotional conflict over ending your relationship. They certainly don’t want to see you sparking up a budding new relationship while they’re still single. In a way, they view the time after the breakup as a competition and if you can tip the scales in your favor you have a huge advantage.

When your ex decided to end things with you, they knew that they had the power in the relationship and you simply had to succumb to their decision, especially if they knew how strong your feelings still were. While it may sound harsh to say that your ex wants to see you fall flat on your face rather than be successful, it’s the heart of the matter at hand. They don’t want to see you get that promotion at work or buy a new car or an impressive new apartment. Any moves towards improvement you make in this critical time will be met with extreme senses of envy on the part of your ex.

In essence, you are conceding that the breakup was a good thing. You’re saying that you are happier now than you were with them and they did you a favor by ending things and that can stop their self-justification in its tracks. No one wants to be upstaged; especially by someone they previously deemed to be unworthy.

If your ex believes that they were solely responsible for your contentment during your relationship, it would stand to reason that you would be heartbroken and destitute without them. Regardless of how you really feel, if you break through this misconception you are giving yourself the upper hand. Your ex will view this as a personal affront and realize that maybe your previous relationship wasn’t as important to you as they wanted to believe.

Using Jealousy Deliberately

If you’re going out on the town with friends purposely to flaunt your newfound freedom in your ex’s face, you’re going to fail. You should not resort to putting on a show for someone else’s benefit or to attempt to get revenge. You’re setting yourself up for more heartbreak and you’re probably not fooling anyone anyway – least of all your ex.

The Downside To Jealousy – Why Caution Is Advised

Your number one concern when using jealousy to try and win your ex back should be recognition. You don’t want to be obvious about what you’re trying to accomplish. No one wants to feel as if they’re being played or intentionally manipulated and if your ex gets a hint of your intentions, it’s going to blow up in your face.

If you get called out for trying to use jealousy to win your ex back, nothing you do after this point is going to be taken seriously. You’re going to be ridiculed and demeaned and you are not going to be able to do anything to change your ex’s perception of you. They’re going to see your actions as extraordinarily immature and petty and it’s going to drive them away for good.

Using jealousy blatantly in an attempt to get even or overtly try to get an ex to notice you again is as plain as day for anyone paying attention. You’re going to come off as spiteful or worse – desperate. If you can’t use it correctly and subtly it would be better for you to sit on the couch and wait for the relationship fairy to come and restore your broken relationship. You might have better chances that way than if you get caught in the act.

That doesn’t mean that jealousy should be avoided at all costs. It is a valuable asset when used correctly. When you’re going out with friends or casually hanging out with someone new, do it because you want to. Do it because it makes you feel good. Jealousy can be a benefit, but it should not be the only reason behind your course of action.

When your ex sees you out having fun with members of the opposite sex, it will cause their mind to start racing. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you should start posting innumerable pictures of you draped over some guy or girl in a club, that is much too obvious. Subtlety is key here. You want to allude to the fact that you are having fun without them, without necessarily dating again. Let them fill in the blanks for themselves.

The best thing about jealousy is that it is a natural emotion and when you use it right you don’t have to do anything at all. If you really want to get your ex’s attention, just enjoy your life. Do things that make you happy and spend time with people that enhance your enjoyment. This may mean going on a few casual dates or getting a new partner for your exercise routine.

Regardless of how you do it, it will have an impact on your ex’s perception while simultaneously making you feel free. Doing this will cause envy and doubt on the part of your ex and you don’t even have to try. They’ll start questioning your relationship and their ability to keep you satisfied. It may seem backwards but it’s simple human nature and it is proven to work.

Use Jealousy Correctly

Like everything important in life, jealousy comes with its own rule book.

1) Appear assured, relaxed and in control in front of your ex
2) You want to come off as though you’re moving on – that you’ve let go of your previous relationship completely
3) Find a way to communicate non-verbally the reality that your ex is going to see you walk away for good
4) Don’t ever do anything that will make your ex suspect that you’re attempting to make them jealous on purpose

The fact of the matter is that your previous attempts have done nothing to increase your chances at getting back together. Sitting home alone moping isn’t making any progress – in fact it may be working against you. Doing nothing won’t get you anywhere and desperation simply doesn’t work. It’s simply not possible for your ex to be jealous of you if you’re not doing anything for them to be jealous of. They’re capable of getting their own ice cream and staring at the floor without any help. If they start to view you as broken or pathetic, no amount of positive attributes will make them reconsider a relationship with you.

Keep it simple. The more that you can go out and enjoy your life, the more jealous your ex will become and this jealousy is simply icing on the cake. You’re enjoying your life. You’re having new experiences and meeting new people, and that should be the important thing to focus on. The fact that you can simultaneously make your ex jealous in the process is just extra. That jealousy will start reconnecting their emotions with their memories and they’ll start to see you the way they used to. This will make them much more receptive to a reconnection than they would be otherwise.

Display Your Accomplishments

All people have a natural, inherent curiosity on the part of those they have left behind. Even if they acted completely detached or uninterested in you or your feelings during the breakup, they can’t help but wonder what you’re up to. They want to see someone in a worse position than they are in themselves. That justifies their decision to break things off and puts them on the road to recovery.

Keeping hold of your emotions and your self-esteem after a breakup may seem nearly impossible, but it’s a vital part of the process. You may be falling apart inside, but put on a brave face when you know they’re watching. You’ll want them to see you shine and not plummet down to earth like a shooting star. You’re still there, you’re still standing and you’re determined to not let it break you.

Your ex should never catch you sitting alone twiddling your thumbs. They should not see your Facebook status updates about how bored or lonely you are. They should be seeing nothing but positive things from your side of the fence. Live it up, and do it to the fullest. Throw yourself into life full-force and enjoy the ride. This is the only way that is guaranteed to make your ex jealous without all the pretense of having to fake it.

Let Them Believe That You’re Over Them

It’s natural for people to assume things, and people rarely assume positive scenarios. It’s human nature to believe the worst, and your ex will do it without even realizing it. If they see you spending time with someone else and getting close to that person, they will automatically assume that you’re moving on – and you’re leaving them behind in the process.

Maybe they convinced themselves that if being single didn’t quite work out according to plan; they could always decide to go back to you. Maybe they wanted to leave their options open just in case. You have just effectively removed their safety net without having to lift a finger and this will instantly make them start to squirm.

If you’re uncomfortable dating, your ex is still going to have the upper hand. They’re going to believe that you’re intimidated by them or you’re scared that you’re going to make them angry by seeing someone else. Here’s the secret: You are not obligated to them anymore. You have to do what you are comfortable with that will allow you the chance to heal, but pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone can open your world to beautiful new things that you may have never imagined possible.

If your ex notices you out with someone new, you can almost count on a phone call. If they do call you for answers, you’re answer should be simple:

“Yeah, I was going out for the evening and decided to bring someone along. It was great, we had a lot of fun and it felt good to get out of the house for a while.”

You don’t need to give your ex a rundown of every single thing that happened, but you don’t want to be rude. Even though it may be true that your life is no longer their concern, you don’t want to tell them that outright. Be honest and keep it simple without over-sharing. They may push you for more information than you feel is necessary and if they do, simply say:

“It was a date. It’s really not a huge deal”

This is when your ex’s true feelings will come pouring out. If they’re still harboring romantic feelings towards you, you’ll know. They will probably go on and on about your date and give you multiple reasons why continuing to see this person isn’t a good idea.

Guess what? You just took the power back in the dynamic between you and your ex. You get to decide which direction to take from here and both sides are wide open. You have the upper hand and you hold all the cards. Your ex is simply waiting to find out what you’re going to do next.

What If It Still Isn’t Working?

If your ex is still hell-bent on ignoring you regardless of what you’re doing, you need to switch into high gear. This doesn’t mean act foolish or immature. It means that you need to be more proactive about getting their interest, but it must be done in healthy and intelligent way.

What Do You Do Next?

Jealousy begins with a tiny grain of sand and blossoms into a sand dune overnight. It takes little effort on your part – and really, it makes your ex do all the work. They will start to second-guess every decision they’ve made and their self-build justifications will start to crumble. This isn’t the end of the road, however – there are still more things that have to come into play before you can get your ex back for good. Positive communication is a vital key to any relationship’s success and you have to be well prepared for when your ex does get back in touch with you – winging it simply isn’t going to cut it.

If you want a step-by-step manual on things you should say and when, you should check out the Magic of Making up by T.W. Jackson. His e-book has propelled him towards internet stardom and he’s successfully reunited thousands of people just like you worldwide.

Unlike other systems that have to be adjusted to fit your specific situation, the Magic of Making Up fits any scenario, and it works instantly to rebuild the lines of communication that can help you win back your ex’s heart. Take a few minutes to read the stories of other people who have used this program successfully and are enjoying a healthy, lasting relationship with their former ex. Watch the introductory video to find out more.